Renovate Me

This weekend I celebrated my 40 something shhh!!! Shut your mouth birthday. LOL. I know it’s been a minute. Did you miss me? Well, it’s been a busy summer and like I always say, if I don’t have anything good to write about you won’t hear from me.  So obviously since it’s been a few months you would think that I have some things to say right?  I do.  First and foremost, I am grateful and blessed to see another year. Unfortunately, along the way as I was on this journey to reach this next age, some folks in my life are not here with me. Which of course, is a reminder that life is short and time is precious. So, spend it wisely.

Since the last time I spoke to you all I’ve been in in a process called Renovation. You see over the last few months our church has been going through major renovations and in keeping with that theme, Pastor Oliver has been speaking on a series dealing with renovations. Renovating your mind, body and spirit. It’s been a real powerful series. And much needed for a lot of us – especially me.

Now, I’m getting ready to get deep on y’all so just hold on. For the past 90 days or so, I have been going through a lot spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And I’m not ashamed to share my truth with you all. I can say that when God has his hands on you …oh boy it is something else.  While I have always had a good relationship with God, I recognized that perhaps my relationship with Him was not as strong as it could be. If I was honest with myself, I can honestly say that I was not putting Him first. And what I mean by that is when I found myself struggling or at a crossroads, I would pick up the phone and call my mother or call my best friend. And then and only then after I phoned a friend, I would talk to God. And you see that is backwards. I should be talking to God first, hence putting Him first. And then if I felt the need to share with others-phone a friend.

While God is in my life, I recognized that I was not giving Him his rightful place in my life. Now, that is not to say that God was not blessing me or that I didn’t talk to Him, it’s not that at all.  I wasn’t talking to Him first. And if we are honest with ourselves, sometimes we want to hear a physical voice, a “live” response. Now, God does talk to me and I hear Him but it’s that voice within, not necessarily a voice that I can physically hear. So at times I believe because we want guidance or an answer NOW we tend to reach out to others first to give us advice, guidance or approval etc.. Well, what I know is that God can give you all of that. And it really hit me that when you do not call God first, you are not putting Him as the head of your life.  Which shows Him that you don’t trust Him….REALLY and that you don’t have FAITH…REALLY. Because if you did, you would know that if you give it to HIM, HE will guide you, give you advice and provide you with what you need when you need it.

What I learned from Pastor Oliver is that God has to renovate us from the inside out.  That is powerful. Although, you may look good on the outside hair done, nails done, everything….I think those are lyrics to a song right? Anyway, none of that matters if you are not together on the inside.  These past several months I started on the journey of really putting God first. Carving out more time in my schedule to spend with Him. Just like I make time to work out, to hang out with friends, I have to make time with HIM.  There’s a song called Make Room by Jonathan McReynolds. Check it out. It speaks to moving things over to allow room for God.  Have you made room for him?

As I reach a new year in my life, I realize that my relationship with God is essential for me to thrive. And I now go to Him first. And there are times when I don’t need to “phone a friend” because I trust the process that God is putting me through. And I know that He loves me and wants the best for me. But I have to trust Him in ALL THINGS.  That is the key- Trust Him in ALL THINGS! And boy he has really showed me who HE is. And it is amazing. And let’s be clear, everything that God has shown me has not been easy to see or deal with. But I know that even in the midst of things that may be hard for you, He’s in it and will  sustain you while you are going through it. He won’t leave you and that is a blessing indeed.

This birthday has been awesome. On my actual birthday, I spent time with myself after work. Folks couldn’t understand why I was spending my birthday by myself.  Okay here is the answer, if you can’t handle being by yourself or enjoy spending time with yourself, what makes you think that someone else will like to spend time with you? Yes, I know something to think about. I like Kim and I enjoy spending time with her.  And was I really by myself? Like I said, God is in the midst of everything, even when you are hanging out by yourself. ON my actual birthday, I spent time doing the things that I like to do, a birthday workout, getting my favorite Starbucks beverage, going to the movies and eating popcorn and Sno-Caps and grabbing one of my favorite meals from a restaurant.  I did everything that I wanted to do because guess what? It was MY birthday. No one else. And then over the weekend….I spent time with my friends. I am blessed!!!  And I don’t take my relationship with God or anyone else in my life for granted.  Take a moment today, and think about who do you call on first?